He's My Roommate?
by Adurna Skulblaka
Summary: "I hoped he wouldn't touch my video games, that he'd ignore my need for cigarettes, and that he'd just leave me to play Mario in peace. It would really suck if my new roommate ruined everything." Matt was pretty happy with how things were. He didn't want another Wammy's kid to share rooms with him. In fact, he and Mello didn't even like each other in the beginning.
1. Chapter 1

**Author's note: Here you are, the other project I promised. I'll admit right now, I'm not entirely sure where I'm going to end this, but I'm also planning on writing shorter chapters, so I can still manage _Cross My Heart._ I guess we'll just see where this goes.  
Anyway, this will be from Matt's POV. Hope you guys enjoy. :)**

* * *

"Hey, Matt."

I looked up from my game of Pokemon and didn't bother to turn down the tinny music that blared from the speakers of my DS. A girl with pigtails and a round face stood in the doorway to my room, a warm smile on her lips. Linda never failed to be kind to anyone, and she treated every kid at Wammy's with the same amount of respect. Even the thickest person could see that.

"Hey, Linda," I replied, peering at her through my gold-tinted goggles.

"Scores are up," was all she said before disappearing to the right of the door, down the corridor.

I sighed and turned my attention back to my little Chimchar, which was fighting for its digital life against yet another wild Pokemon. I already knew where I'd be on the board. I'd been there for months now, and nobody had taken my place, so I didn't need to check.

It would be first.

I was the smartest orphan at Wammy's; not by much, but by enough to keep me in a comfortable lead. The sad thing was, I didn't even try. A little bit of studying here and there was all I needed to stay in front. It was a good thing nobody hated me for it, 'cause then I'd have no friends out of all the kids at Wammy's House. It would be a lonely life - not that it wasn't anyway.

But it was smart to go and check it out, so I got to my feet and strolled out into the corridor, still playing my game. When it came to Pokemon, I didn't even need to look at my options when it was my turn to attack; I knew my party so well, it was easy to click the right button at the right time.

I wandered over to great staircase, which wasn't far from my room, and made my slow way down them. The stairs led into the large room that was the entrance hall of Wammy's. The floor was wooden, with a dark red rug covering it; the walls were chocolate brown; a few doors led off into various other parts of the house; armchairs and sofas littered the room, matching the rug in colour; and a corkboard hung on the wall beside the entrance to the dining room. All of the kids of Wammy's had made a crowd around it, the shorter ones craning their necks to see their position while the taller kids simply looked over. I saw disappointed looks on most of their faces, while others cheered with joy over the few ranks they'd gained.

I waited until everyone else had gone until I took my turn to approach the corkboard. The only one who lingered was Linda, and I could tell by her smile that I was right about my place. However, I flipped the lid closed on my DS and looked up at the piece of paper that had been pinned there, just to check.

And, sure enough, I read '_1 – Matt_'.

"Congrats," Linda said, touching my shoulder lightly.

I shrugged. "I'm still not bothered about it. Never will be."

I heard her inhale sharply, before she slowly released the same breath in a controlled way; I knew that the careless way I referred to being Number One annoyed her, even if she didn't show it. It was what we all aimed for: the top place, so we'd be noticed by L, and picked to be his successor.

I gave that the same response I offered my rank number: _I couldn't care less._ I freely admitted it at every opportunity I got, but no one believed me. They thought I was just putting on an act, but it was true. If I got the title of L, then cool, but I'd probably ruin his reputation in a few days flat just by being lazy. And if I didn't, that was fine with me, too. All I did was kick my feet up and relax. If L thought that was what he wanted in a successor…

… then he clearly had a few things to reconsider.

Linda brought her gentle smile back onto her face, which was seen on her just as often as my goggles were on me. "I don't get you sometimes," she said with a giggle. "You're silly, Matt."

"I'm honest," I corrected her. "I wouldn't give a damn if I was at the bottom of the page."

She raised an eyebrow in challenge. "Really?"

I chuckled a little. "Actually, I think I _would_ care if I was at the bottom. That's a bit much, even for me."

"Speaking of…" Linda's gaze drifted over to the last person on the list: Amber. "Poor girl…" She murmured, glancing at one of the other sheets on the corkboard.

Not only were we all ranked together, but we were also numbered in our letter group as well. As I was first on the list, I was first out of the Ms too. Linda was the top L, but that didn't necessarily mean she would be _chosen_ as L later on. Poor Amber was not only the final person on the main list, but she was at the end on the As one, too.

Despite my uncaring attitude, I was a nice guy. "Maybe I shouldn't be making jokes 'bout that…"

"It would probably be best," Linda agreed. "Speaking of Amber, did you see where she went? She probably wants someone to talk to, considering the rankings."

I shrugged; Linda rolled her eyes, muttered, "You're so helpful," and headed off down the nearest corridor. I sniggered and helped myself to one of the armchairs in the room. I'd barely sat down and opened my DS when I heard someone approaching. I glanced up and saw Oscar, the third O at Wammy's. The sandy haired boy tended to stutter over his words, which was a shame, because he was nice when you got to know him.

"Hey," I said, trying to encourage him into speaking.

"Uh, hi, Matt," he replied, giving me a hesitant smile. "Roger wants to t-talk to you…"

I groaned, letting my head fall back to hit the armchair. I hadn't done anything this time, I knew it! I'd followed the rules, worked hard, hadn't stayed up _too _late at night…

… I hoped he hadn't found out about the cigarettes. That would be... problematic.

"Did he say why?" I asked.

Oscar shook his head, adding, "S-sorry…"

"No problem. Thanks." There was no hope in continuing my game, so I saved and turned it off before tucking it in my pocket. Oscar scurried away, no doubt to find the first G, who was his best friend. I, however, went back up the stairs and along the corridor to Roger's office.

The beauty of Wammy's didn't bother me anymore. Sure, when I'd first arrived, I'd been fascinated and intimidated by the great house. I'd been about three years old, though, so I was pretty sure most of that came from the fact that the entrance hall was so large. But I could still admire the grand library, filled to the brim with books, and the stained glass windows which were simply stunning to look at.

All of this was hidden from view as I took the route needed to get to the corridor for Roger's office. The area around there was dark, the walls were covered with paintings of insects instead of plants or animals or whatever, and it had that dusty smell that just ended up pissing you off.

Bracing myself, I knocked on Roger's door and waited for him to allow me to enter. He certainly took his time; I heard him talking to someone – Mr. Wammy, maybe? – but I couldn't catch what was being said. I'd been outside his office for just over ten minutes, trying to pick out the stick insect in a picture, when he called, "Come in."

Roger's office was cluttered with bookshelves that stretched from the floor to the ceiling, and were stuffed with books on, you guessed it, insects. The centre of the room was empty, save for his desk. Tall windows lit up the room and offered a view of the gardens and the other building that Wammy's House owned. The long lawn of bright grass went on for quite some distance; it was lucky, really, since some kids liked to play sports or just run wild.

The second house at Wammy's was considerably smaller, and reserved for classes and teachers. They stayed on the upper floors while they taught us on the ones below - or, at least, that was what we'd worked out. We'd never seen anything to suggest that they slept in their classrooms, at any rate.

"Thank you for coming, Matt."

Oh, yeah. I was here for a reason.

I turned my attention onto the old man that sat at the desk. He watched me over his linked hands, his expression as unreadable as ever. I wasn't offered a chair, which was entirely normal; Roger never bothered with that when he called kids into his office, as far as I was aware.

"No problem." I almost added, _I'm not in trouble, am I?_ but I was pretty sure that would only encourage him to look into the matter. I didn't need him asking about any certain illegal things I shouldn't have.

Roger shifted in his seat, glancing at a sheet of paper in front of him. "You have the space available for a roommate, correct?"

Grudgingly, I nodded. There was a spare bed in my room which was intended for another kid if one were to join Wammy's. I'd had a roommate before, when I was eight, but that was six years ago. Almost as soon as my old roommate had left, I'd ended up using his bed as a place to leave my schoolbooks. The time on my own had been bliss; no one with any weird obsessions to bother me at midnight, or discover my smoking habit and report me, or complain about my untidiness.

Sadly, I could see where this conversation was going all too easily.

"We have a new child coming to live here in a few days," Roger said, just as I thought he would. "His name is Mello. He will be sharing with you, Matt. The standard rules apply: don't ask about his past, don't share it if he decides to tell you about it, welcome him to Wammy's…"

I zoned out as Roger carried on. I knew the rules, like every other Wammy kid. I wanted to know more about my roommate, but I'd happily wait until he arrived. Years of gaming had given me endless patience.

"You're free to go," I was eventually told, and then I gladly left.

I breathed a sigh of relief when I was free again and took a leisurely walk through the corridors back to my room. It would've made sense to clean it if this Mello was going to be my roommate…

… but I didn't _do_ cleaning.

My room was an organised mess; my video games were stacked on the shelves in piles, and while the order might not make sense to someone else, it certainly did to me; my clothes were scattered in my chest of drawers, but I knew where everything was; the only things I kept tidy were my documents on the computer I was lucky enough to have in my room. I couldn't help but hope that Mello wouldn't be obsessed with tidiness.

I also hoped he wouldn't touch my video games, that he'd ignore my need for cigarettes, and that he'd just leave me to play Mario in peace. It would really suck if my new roommate ruined everything.

I'd be willing to put up with his habits if he'd do the same for mine.

I shook my head to clear it and shut my bedroom door behind me, locking it for good measure. Some of the kids at Wammy's liked to play jokes, especially in the middle of the night, and experience had taught me to be safe instead of sorry. I didn't bother to change; I just curled up under my covers and turned my DS on again. I'd savour my last few days on my own, because I didn't know what my life would be like once they were gone.


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's note: Well... yeah. Here's chapter 2. I think I did better on chapter 1, to be honest, but I _am_ concentrating on _Cross My Heart_ so... Sorry. There's certainly more words in chapter 1...  
Anyway, enough of me complaining. Enjoy.**

* * *

Sadly, the days leading up to my roommate's arrival didn't seem as long as I'd wanted them to. It felt like the time had flown by, flipping me off as it went with an evil grin. Linda and I speculated about what Mello would be like, but in the end we gave up; Wammy kids were so odd, we knew we'd never come up with anything like the actual guy. At Roger's prompting, I moved some stuff around in my room so Mello would have his own space

The day of his arrival was long, annoying and painful.

To start with, the train Mello was taking to get to Wammy's was delayed, and it was around midday before he could find another way to get to the house. I ended up hanging around in the hall while I waited, but when he didn't arrive I wandered off again.

I found myself standing outside of the house in the cool early spring air. I tucked my chin into my jacket and leaned against the wall, instinctively raising one foot to support me. I glanced left and right once, checking for anyone else, then when I was sure the coast was clear I lit a cigarette.

The familiarity of it settled my nerves and made me relax. I breathed out a cloud of smoke, which mixed with the shape of my breath in the chilly garden.

I didn't expect to be alone for long, though.

"You're going to kill yourself with those, Matt."

I looked up again; Linda was stood beside me, a frown on her face. Her gaze was fixed on the cigarette between my lips, and her own were drawn into a thin line of concern. "I know," I mumbled around it.

"Then why do you do it?"

I shrugged. To be honest, I didn't know. Like most things, I just did them, or they happened to me.

She frowned. "That's not an answer."

"I know." I smirked a little, and in response Linda let a quiet giggle pass. I was being difficult, as usual. It was a habit, especially when I was around Linda, who was probably my closest friend at Wammy's.

Linda leaned against the wall beside me, making sure she was upwind so the smoke didn't blow into her face. "So, any sign of Mello?"

My good mood dissolved instantly. I focused on one of the first blooming flowers of the season that one of the other kids looked after. "Nope. He's late. Roger hasn't told me anything either."

Linda, ever the optimist, chirped, "He'll turn up."

I spat out my cigarette and crushed it under my boot, scowling at the remains of it on the gravel. "D'you reckon he's even right for Wammy's? Roger's made mistakes with kids before. He could do it again just as easily."

"Ooh!" She sang. "Is Matty worried that Mello will take M away from him?"

I rolled my eyes, muttering, "Don't be ridiculous," but Linda wouldn't have it.

"I knew it!" She clapped her hands and laughed. "You _do_ like being M!"

"Sure, whatever," I said quietly. _Damn, I shouldn't have put out my cigarette… it was barely even half done…_

"Oh, lighten up." Linda punched my arm gently, and I clutched the spot in fake pain, pulling a face of agony as I did so. "Dramatic fool," she added. "If you're not busy, you can come and help me with my art project, then." Linda grabbed hold of my sleeve and dragged me back inside, ignoring my half-hearted protests.

Linda turned me into her assistant; she sent me running back and forth across the room she shared with Crystal, the second C. I retrieved pens, pencils, rubbers and a bunch of other crap that made the list too long to remember. She didn't even use half of it. When she started hinting at just how much she'd like to draw me, I made my excuses and escaped.

I leaned against the wall outside her room and sighed in relief. I hadn't realised how stuffy it was in there. Didn't Linda ever open the windows?

I gritted my teeth in irritation when I heard excited shouting from downstairs. It felt like the other kids were never quiet… But, after a moment, I started to understand what they were saying. I'd heard the phrases many times before; they weren't new to me. In fact, I'd been one of the ones crying them before.

_"Look! Outside!"_

_ "Is that him?"_

_ "I didn't expect him to look like _that_."_

_He_ was here. At Wammy's.

_Finally!_

I knew what would happen next. I'd have to follow Mello into Roger's office. Mello would be welcomed, and I'd have to take him on a tour. I'd show him our room. I'd become his friend and then we'd skip away into the sunset all happy and la-de-freaking-da.

Thing was… I wasn't ready to give up my freedom just yet.

Since I'd taken up my smoking habit, I had become pretty good at staying hidden. I crept along the corridor towards the stairs with my head bowed. I was simply a random Wammy's kid, not Matt, Mello's new roommate. I made it to the top of the staircase before I actually had to leap into the shadows to avoid detection. I didn't get a good look, as I was trying not to draw attention to myself, but I saw Roger leading a kid probably a few months older than me towards his office. His blonde hair was a bright splash of colour against the black of his clothes.

And then he was gone.

No doubt Roger would remember that I needed to be there soon, so I bolted.

* * *

I sat in one of the plush armchairs in the corner of the library and held a book in front of my face so I wouldn't be recognised. I thought it was a pretty good trick, until Gryphon found me.

Oscar's best friend wasn't one to be messed with. Around the more nervous boy, Gryphon was kind and gentle, but if anyone else was involved…

Let's just say I've accidentally gotten on the wrong side of him before.

He was a nice guy if you gave him a book on mythical creatures, though. That saved me the second time I made a faux pas in front of him.

We'd established a tentative truce; Gryphon would leave me be if I tried my best not to put my foot in my mouth. _"As the top kid, you need to be careful of doing that,__" _he'd once told me, _"so this is only helping you._" So far, things had gone well, and I certainly preferred to keep them that way. My poor video games would be traumatised if he threatened them again.

There was a mischievous glint in his bright blue eyes that I didn't wish to see ever again. Quite frankly, it was disturbing. He chuckled quietly and said, "Roger's after you, Matt. That Mello kid's here. You might wanna get your ass up in his office before he gets annoyed."

I rolled my eyes. "Thanks for the tip."

Gryphon smirked and gave me a mocking salute. "No prob."

And so, scowling and dragging my feet, I retraced my steps back upstairs. However, when I arrived at Roger's office, I only found the grumpy old man sat at his desk.

"Try to be on time in future, Matt," he muttered distractedly when he saw me standing in the doorway; a book was in front of him, no doubt on insects, and he was clearly itching to get back into it. "Mello's already in your room. I'd appreciate it if you went along and greeted him properly."

Biting back the reply I desperately wanted to give, I nodded instead and left without saying anything. I tried to make the journey last as long as possible, even though it was only a few metres down the hall. I paused for a second to say goodbye to my old life, then entered.

I'm still not quite sure what happened.

One moment I was standing there, staring at my new roommate, and the next I was pinned against the wall with a hand at my throat. "Who are you?" a low voice growled in my ear.

"Matt…" I gasped. I pushed on his shoulders in a vain effort to free myself. "It's... my… room..."

And, just as quickly as it had happened, I was freed. I slumped against the wall and sucked in a few deep breaths. The sound was raspy and painful; those cigarettes didn't help one bit. I glared at him and croaked, "What the hell was that about?"

He shrugged, completely unfazed by what he had just done. "Can't be too careful."

I felt a question resting on the tip of my tongue, but I held it back. Rule Number One of Wammy's: don't ask people about their past, no matter how curious you are. Instead, I hauled myself upright and tried to appear normal, despite being strangled by my possibly mad new roommate.

"No one's gonna try to attack you here," I promised. "Wammy's is completely safe."

"You can't know that-"

"Quillish Wammy founded this place. I'm pretty sure it's safe." I prayed that he'd heard of Mr. Wammy, who not only built places like Wammy's, but was also a famous inventor.

"… Oh."

_Thank God._

An awkward silence settled on us. We took the time to study each other; Mello's hair was longer than I'd thought when I first saw him, and his eyes were an intense, icy blue that made me feel like I was being pierced when he looked at me. His dark clothes were a little baggy, so he must have been more slender than he appeared. In fact, he was pretty feminine looking.

A small part of me was worried about what he'd think of me. What _did_ people see when they first met me? A genius? A gamer? A smoker? An antisocial teen?

_Huh. Never thought about it before._ I tried not to linger on it for too long; the thought was pretty damn disturbing.

I decided that the quiet had gone on for far too long, so, being the blunt idiot I am, I tilted my head to the side and said, "Mello, you look like a girl."

First thing I registered: the look on his face was terrifying.

Second: he was going to punch me.

Third: there was no way in hell I was going to avoid it in time.


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's note: With little time to write _Cross My Heart_, I've been able to get this chapter out a lot quicker. **

* * *

Mello's fist connected with my stomach, and I doubled over in pain again, resuming my coughing from earlier. "… Bastard…" I groaned, gritting my teeth. "The hell?"

He grabbed a handful of my shirt and yanked me upright, ignoring my moans of pain. "Don't. Call me. _A girl,_" he hissed.

"Bloody hell… Fine, but _let go of me_!"

He did, but without warning; I fell on the ground, right onto my ass, bruising it and my pride.

"Next time it'll be your face," he growled.

"Oh, get a grip!" I snarled. "You can't just waltz in here and… and start throwing punches! You'll get kicked out if you keep this up, and you haven't even been here for an hour."

Mello raised an eyebrow. "Why do you care? Maybe it'd be better if I _did_ leave."

Ok… what?

Where did that come from?

I repeated my question out loud, but he simply curled his lip and turned away. "None of your business. Are you gonna do anything useful, or are you just gonna sit there?"

I narrowed my eyes at him and stayed silent. What right did he have to do this?! What was his problem? Was he crazy?

… Ok, maybe that was a _bit_ out of line, even if it was in my head, but still. If Roger had set me up with an insane guy for a roommate, I was gonna be having words with that old git.

"Look," I finally said, using the door handle to pull myself up. "Just… calm down, ok? You're not gonna make moving in here any easier for yourself if you're all… like _that._"

"I know."

… Damn, now I knew how Linda felt when she was talking to me.

"Then why are you acting like such an ass?"

Mello smirked. "Because I want to."

Yep, now I definitely knew how she felt.

Now standing, I pointed a finger at Mello; he flinched when it came close to his chest and took a step back. Huh. Weird. "Stop making things difficult for yourself! It's not gonna help anyone… no doubt it'll annoy L as well."

All the colour seemed to drain from Mello's face at those words. "L?" he stuttered, eyes wide.

I nodded slowly, feeling incredibly confused. Didn't he know? Surely Roger had told him…?

Mello was suddenly in my personal space again, but this time he didn't try to beat the crap out of me. Instead, he shoved his face close to mine, his icy eyes alight with excitement and… was that a little bit of fear?

"So the old man was telling the truth? L… we're all training for L?" When I scrambled to find the words to reply, he added, "Tell me!"

I sighed and pushed him back a little before replying. "Yeah. Why didn't you believe Roger?"

A guarded look fell on Mello's face, and he drew back completely. His arms crossed in what appeared to be a subconscious motion. He cast his gaze to the ground; emotions flickered in them, but they were crushed by the shield he forced into place. "I… It seemed too unbelievable… Too… unlikely…"

Something was… off with Mello. He switched from one emotion to the next at the tiniest prompt. A great example was him strangling me one second and then acting all… _timid_ at my question.

Weird.

"I guess so…" I agreed, albeit hesitantly. "It's obvious though, isn't it?" When Mello raised an eyebrow, I continued, "Well… Wammy's is full of genius kids that are just… odd. And the board with the rankings on; you couldn't have missed it on your way up to Roger's office. It's right there..."

"I was a bit busy trying to ignore everyone else," he muttered. "What are the rankings for?"

"Didn't Roger explain them either?"

Mello simply blinked at me and gave me a '_well done, Sherlock'_ look.

Oh, God. It was going to be a _long_ evening.

* * *

Taking Mello on a tour of Wammy's wasn't the best thing in the world. I'm pretty sure he was listening to me but, then again, he probably wasn't. Maybe he was just pretending to.

Whatever. Not my problem if he got lost.

We were in the library, which Mello was _very_ interested in – and that, my friends, _was not _sarcasm – when Linda joined us. She skipped over, ponytails bobbing up and down. "Hey! You must be Mello!"

He stared at her, unsure how to react.

We all felt that way when we first met the ever cheerful Linda.

"Yeah…" he finally said.

Linda grabbed his hand and shook it; Mello made no attempt to return the handshake. A small snicker escaped my lips before I clamped them shut. I managed to keep my face straight after that, but if it weren't for my goggles, I was sure both of them would've seen the amusement in my eyes.

"I'm Linda!" She beamed at him. "I hope Matt's being nice to you, Mello. He can be a bit antisocial sometimes."

"That's fine… I'm not too keen on chatting most of the time anyway."

"Lucky you, then. You're probably the best roommate for him, in that case."

_Oh, I beg to differ, Linda…_ Biting my tongue to keep the comment in my head, I scuffed my boot on the carpet, feeling awkward. It seemed Mello was getting on better with Linda than with me, even if he was a little freaked out by her. He hadn't punched her yet, which was a good sign.

For a small second, worry stabbed through my chest. What if he became best buddies with Linda? She was the only person in Wammy's I could really stand to be around for a good length of time. I chewed the inside of my lip, wondering whether that was possible.

It couldn't be; Linda was friends with everyone. It was only natural for her to be like this around the new kid. I needed to stop being stupid. That wasn't what M was meant to-

Woah. Stop that thought _right there._ I didn't care about M at all.

Nope.

"Hey, Matt! Come on! Dinner!" Linda called. I hadn't noticed that she and Mello were already by the door. I heard one of the other kids hush her – _"Shut up! This is a library!"_ – but she ignored them. I nodded and went to join them, brushing my random worrying off. There was no need to feel like that.

Dinner was… interesting. I found out what Mello's habit was. He didn't pay any attention to any of the food on the long tables set out for us; instead, he took a bar of chocolate from his baggy trousers and happily snapped off a chunk. My stomach churned in response, and I found it a little harder to keep down my jacket potato.

He ate a second chocolate bar for dessert.

… Gross.

* * *

I followed him into my- _our_ room, dragging my feet and yawning. I pulled off my jacket and dropped at the foot of my bed, then turned to fall onto it.

Only to land on someone else.

I yelped as Mello tried to push me off, but then I gritted my teeth and pulled him down with me. This time, when he started to throw punches, I fought back. I landed a few and managed to pin him to the ground, surprising both of us.

"That's my bed, idiot," I spat.

"Oh, really?" Mello feigned innocence in his voice, which only made me angrier. "I didn't see any sign…"

I tightened my grip on his wrists, making him wriggle in discomfort. Again, I saw the flash of fear in his eyes, before it was stamped out by anger. "It's obvious! My stuff's all over it! Games, books, clothes…" I growled.

"You're stronger than you look," he commented.

My hold faltered; of all things, I hadn't been exepcting that. "What…?"

He used the opportunity to throw me off; for the second time that day, I landed on my ass. "Git," I growled.

"Of course."

"Don't make the same mistake again."

"I won't."

Our argument was over as suddenly as it had begun. Mello took his place on his own bed this time. He curled up on his side with his back to me, not bothering to say goodnight.

I didn't prompt him to.

I beat my pillow into a more comfortable shape, then buried my face in it. I yanked my covers up past my shoulders. Realising my boots were still on, I kicked them off; they landed on the floor with a couple of loud thuds. There. That was nice. It felt normal. Familiar.

A crumpled ball that used to be a chocolate wrapper hit the wall above my head. "Be quiet," Mello hissed.

"You be quiet," I retorted. Not imaginative, I know, but I was tired and angry. Mello snorted at my oh, so brilliant reply. I simply raised my hand and flipped him off, even though he couldn't see it.

Well, this was going to be fun.


	4. Chapter 4

My bed was warm and comfortable, my room was quiet save for the hum of electronics plugged in at the wall, and it was dark and comforting. It was the perfect way to wake up in the morning. The only thing missing was breakfast in bed, but there was no chance of getting that, sadly. I yawned widely and shifted my head, grunting in pain when I realised I'd forgotten to take my goggles off the night before; I could feel the rubber of the frame digging into my face, which usually didn't bother me, but after probably around twenty-four hours…

Yeah. That hurt.

Moving sluggishly, I lifted my arm that wasn't trapped underneath my body and stuck my fingers under the strap, levering them from my face. I dropped them onto the cover before pulling my arm back under, into the warmth.

Barely seconds later, I began to drift off again, the fuzzy haze of sleep settling over my mind.

Suddenly, the covers were ripped from my bed, exposing me to the chilly late February air of my room. I yelped and snapped my eyes open to see just what - or _who_ - had rudely awoken me.

Mello.

Several days had passed since his arrival at Wammy's, ones that were quite possibly the very definition of hell. He messed with me and my stuff, irritated me with a number of different tactics that I didn't care to remember, and just generally turned my life upside down.

This – waking me up in such a fashion – was new, however.

Mello raised an eyebrow as I curled up even tighter against the cold. "The hell? You didn't change last night?"

I frowned, noticing with a flash of frustration that he was right. I'd been so tired, I'd only manage to wriggle out of my jeans and boots before passing out. My DS was on the floor by my bed, its screen black; had I turned it off, or had I falling asleep before saving? That'd be annoying, and certainly wouldn't improve my mood.

"Shut up," I retorted, throwing my pillow at him; he neatly dodged it. "Why'd you do that?"

Mello flipped his hair in a very feminine action – I remembered to keep that to myself, this time – and dumped my duvet back on me before strolling over to the desk. "It's almost nine, Matt. The test is in an hour."

I tunnelled my way out so I could see him. "So?"

He spun around to face me, his eyes wide. "'_So?'_ It's decides the rankings!"

Ever since Mello had learned about them, he'd been determined to steal the top place from me. I had to admit, there was something… _thrilling_ about it. It made me want to keep M to myself. And from what I'd seen in class, Mello actually had a chance at challenging me for it.

_Bring. It. On._

Acting utterly blasé about it, I shrugged and dropped my feet to the floor to stand up. "It doesn't matter to me. It's just a letter. I couldn't care less if I was M or not."

"But it means L will notice you," Mello said, sounding confused. "Don't you want that? To be his successor?"

"Nope." I rooted around in my chest of drawers for fresh clothes and, finding them, I piled them in my arms and headed towards the bathroom.

It was time for me to strike back.

"I've never had any trouble at staying M before… why should anything change now?"

Smirking, I locked the door behind me. I caught a glimpse of Mello's shocked expression before it closed.

* * *

Really, it was just too easy.

I left the dining hall, where the tests were done, with a cocky element to my stride. Mello walked ahead of me, his head and shoulders bowed. I didn't bother him. I could tell just by the way he was acting that he wasn't impressed with how his exam went.

That was fine with me.

An arm slipped past mine to link with it and, looking to my left, I saw Linda grinning at me. "What're you so happy about?" she chirped.

"The test."

She tilted her head to the side, a smile on her lips. "Why would you care about that? You never have before."

I shrugged and remained silent. She would work it out for herself. I wouldn't deny it if she got it right.

And as if on cue…

"You're getting competitive, aren't you?" Linda teased. "I knew you wanted to keep M!"

_… bingo._

"Yep," I replied, nodding. "Decided it was worth it after all."

Linda stopped, pulling on my arm to halt me as well. "It's not because of Mello, is it? He's a new M… And I know you guys don't get on very well…"

I rolled my eyes. "Don't be ridiculous. I just want to be L's successor, is all. I finally realised that it would be an honour to be his successor. You're reading into it too much, Linda."

Well… I'd deny _that_ part. I wanted to prove to Mello that I deserved M, not him. He'd been hinting at his desire for the title ever since he'd realised _I _was M. And when I'd worked out he wanted it…

I wasn't gonna give it up easily, even if I didn't want it.

Mello had to have known from the start that he was gonna have a hard job of taking M from me. When he saw the scores, I noticed a mixture of satisfaction and hunger on his face.

Satisfaction because he'd beaten the other M, Moss, and was now in second.

Hunger because I was still on top.

When we returned to our room that night, he'd flipped again; I found myself trapped between him and the wall, with barely any space to breathe. "How did you do it?" he demanded.

I smirked. "I just _did. _I learn, I pretend to study, and then I win."

Mello's fingers dug into my shoulders painfully, but my smile stayed in place. "_Tell me."_

"Because I'm the king of Wammy's, Mells."

He stared at me. "What?"

"_Honey, you should see me in a crown!_" I laughed, quoting Moriarty from _Sherlock_. The opportunity was just too good to miss, and since I'd always admired Moriarty, even though he _was_ a bad guy... well, I couldn't let it pass.

Mello looked at me blankly.

I groaned and smacked the back of my head against the wall. "Remind me to educate you on TV."

"Stop distracting me!" he snapped. "How are you Number One?"

"I don't know," I told him honestly. "I just get it. Ok?"

Mello growled and turned away to pace back and forth. "Has to be some trick to it… something that works…"

I sighed and fell onto my back on my bed. "Don't obsess over it. Kids who do that go insane. There were a couple, many years ago who did…"

For some reason, this attracted Mello's interest. He perched on his bed and peered over at me. "Who?"

I turned my head so I could see him. "The first two Wammy's kids: A and B.

"A… he tried, real hard. He wanted to impress L. He was chosen to be the first one, the one that would eventually succeed him, no matter what B did. Eventually, it became too much for A, and he committed suicide."

I paused to study Mello's reaction, but it was disappointingly blank. He nodded to encourage me to continue.

"B, on the other hand, is an entirely different story…"

"How?"

"Ever heard of Beyond Birthday? Or the Los Angeles BB Murder Cases?"

Mello shrugged. "Never looked into it."

"I'll only tell you the basics then, otherwise I'll get it wrong." I sat up and leaned forwards, resting my elbows on my knees. "B became a bit… ah… more inclined to violence. It might've been in response to A dying, I don't know. It's likely. He became Beyond Birthday, the mastermind behind the killings."

I clapped my hands once, making Mello jolt with surprise. "And the moral of the story is _don't pressure yourself._"

Mello curled his lip in what could've been irritation or... disgust? Wouldn't put it past him to look at me like that. He strode towards the door, waving a hand dismissively. "I'll do what I like. Thanks for the story. I'll be off."

"Where are you going?" I called after him.

"For a walk!" was his sharp reply. The door slammed shut behind him, making the desk rattle.

_Don't enjoy yourself,_ I thought. I flopped onto my back again and closed my eyes, sighing. Without him here, I could almost pretend that it was just my room again. It felt like my life before Mello battered his way into it.

It was like home.

Except someone had tainted it and, I realised, me. Easygoing, cool, calm Matt was slipping away, replaced with a bitter and competitive copy. If things continued like this, I wouldn't be the same anymore.

So I made a promise to myself. If Mello beat me and managed to hold onto M, then fine, he could have it. I wouldn't try to take it back. It would be his. If it stayed mine, then that was alright, too. If he turned out to be smarter than me, then there was nothing I could do about it.

_Game on, Mello._


	5. Chapter 5

**Author's note: I have to say, I like this chapter.  
That is all.**

* * *

February moved on to March, and March became April. The relationship between Mello and me stayed exactly the same throughout the months that passed: rivals. Never once did either of us consider backing off and forming a friendship.

It just didn't seem right to us.

I was secretly pleased that I managed to stay at the top of the rankings without breaking a sweat, while Mello studied furiously before the tests to try and beat me. He'd stay awake late into the night, leaning over the desk with a torch, flipping through book after book after book in an attempt to cram some more information into his brain. It didn't seem to want to cooperate with him, however, as he remained second every fortnight, when we took the test.

Me? I just played video games.

No, seriously. That's all I did. I paid attention in class (sort of), then did the tests. Boom: top marks.

It was as easy as that, but it didn't work for Mello.

A part of me pitied him; he was working so hard, but he just couldn't do it. We were never told our exact scores, but there couldn't have been a massive gap between us. I noticed that with every exam, he became more confident, and there was a strut to his walk that made me think he was going to win. But I was proved wrong, Mello was disappointed repeatedly, and the competition between us made me forget that he'd only been at Wammy's for a couple of months; it was a shock to look at the calendar one morning and think, _He's really been here this long? It doesn't feel like it._

In later years, Mello and I would use April 1st as an opportunity to irritate each other, but the first April Fool's Day that came along was spent studying for the test the next day. I was actually worried this time; Mello had excelled in class recently, and his grades were starting to not-so-subtly threaten mine.

Naturally, I decided I wasn't going to take that lying down.

And, when the results were pinned to the corkboard, I was relieved to see that my work had paid off.

_' 1 – Matt_

_ 2 – Mello'_, it read.

Success was sweet.

* * *

"Matt and Mello?"

Both of us looked up to the teacher at the mention of our names. She was an old woman, with greying hair pulled back into a bun and smart clothes. Her shoes were so shiny, I could probably see my reflection in them if I got close enough. Her voice was one of those annoyingly patronising ones that just pissed you off, no matter how calm you tried to be.

"Yeah, Miss?" I responded, since Mello was silent.

"The two of you need to go to Roger's office immediately." She would normally be irritated if students were being taken out of her lesson, but since Mello and I were the top two in Wammy's, she tried to let it pass.

Note the word 'tried'; she was still pretty angry. The way her lips were drawn into a straight line made that obvious.

She hurried us out – we were disturbing her teaching, even though it wouldn't make much difference anyway; the class combined was easily smarter than her – and the door closed behind us with a sharp _click_.

"What did you do?" Mello growled, shifting his bag higher on his shoulder.

"Nothing!" I protested, narrowing my eyes at him. "What about you?"

"Please, I've been an angel."

I snorted.

Mello rolled his eyes. "Whatever. Let's go see what the old man wants."

We made our way across the grounds of Wammy's towards the main part of the mansion. The days had become warmer since spring had taken over, but the breeze that had picked up still carried a chilly bite. I tucked my chin into my jacket, and Mello hid his hands inside his long sleeves to keep them warm.

By now, I had a pretty good idea of what we were being called in for. It'd happened once or twice before, but those experiences had been a long time ago. I also had a my suspicions for why the gap was so long, but I wasn't about to say anything to Mello.

Stepping into the larger of the two buildings was like walking into an oven; the contrast of the temperatures was enough to make me unzip my jacket, it was so warm. Mello sighed and smiled a little, though; his shirt was probably too thin to be very effective against the cold outside.

As Mello took the lead in entering Roger's office, I wondered how many times I'd been in this room in the last four months. If I counted, it was probably more times than the average per year.

What a depressing thought.

I was surprised to see two chairs in front of Roger's desk, and even more so when I spotted the laptop resting on it, because it meant that I'd been correct.

We were here to talk to L.

The top two students were the most likely to become his heirs. While there was no question at the moment that I was the one to succeed him, Mello was the current backup if I failed somehow.

We were like A and B.

"Please have a seat," Roger mumbled. While I didn't want to _be_ L, I still respected him; it made me angry to see that Roger had simply turned the laptop screen to face us, and he had a book open under his nose. He was going to _read _while L was speaking to us? Or maybe Roger had already had a word with him…

Whatever.

Mello and I sat, and then we waited. The screen was blank and dark; was the laptop even turned on? I didn't have to wonder for long, though, as there was a sharp _beep_, and then the letter 'L' appeared.

"Greetings, Matt, Mello."

I felt a short stab of disappointment when he spoke; L's voice was robotic, as usual. Every time I'd heard him talk, it had been like that. Didn't he trust us? Or was he just being overly careful?

"Hi," I replied.

Mello was silent.

I looked over at him, and almost burst into laughter at the expression on his face. His blue eyes were wide with awe, and his mouth hung open slightly. He was leaning forwards in his seat and he gripped the edge so hard his knuckles had turned white. I elbowed him, making him jump.

"Hello," Mello eventually whispered.

I wanted to see what L's reaction to the pause was, but if he didn't let us hear his real voice, there was no way he was going to show us his face.

"How are you settling in, Mello? I hope Matt hasn't been causing you any trouble."

"It's fine," he said hurriedly, as if to make up for his silence earlier. "He's fine. I… it's fine."

L chuckled, but it sounded unnatural and tinny coming from the speakers. "You don't sound it."

I grinned. "Mello's a bit… nervous, I guess."

"Matt!" Mello growled, "It's not like that, L! I-"

"It was a joke, Mello, chill." I rolled my eyes.

I expected an awkward silence to follow, but L asked another question to avoid it. I had to admit, he was good. "How are your studies going, Matt? I wouldn't like for you to fall behind."

He almost sounded like a father. But, in a way, us kids at Wammy's _were_ his children.

His freaky, super intelligent children.

"They're going well."

"I hear Mello is giving you a run for your money."

"Yeah. He doesn't look it, but he's actually pretty smart."

The look Mello gave me was positively murderous. I had the feeling that it would be better to hang around with the other Wammy kids until he calmed down, or L was going to have to come to the orphanage to investigate my death.

"Well, looks can be deceiving." There was something amused in L's tone, but I could've just been hearing things because of the voice mixer thing he was using. Who knew?

I nodded, even though he couldn't see it. "I guess so."

"Congratulations on becoming second, Mello."

My roommate stopped glaring daggers at me, and instead returned his gaze to the computer screen. "Thanks."

"I'll admit, I'm surprised. I didn't think you'd become so successful this quickly."

Mello seemed satisfied by this. "It wasn't too difficult. Matt's the only one in front of me now."

It felt like a threat, and the way Mello glanced at me out of the corners of his eyes with that dangerous smirk on his face made my stomach drop. This wasn't just a game to him… he _really_ wanted to be first. The hunger on his face was obvious. I had no doubts that he would do whatever was necessary to win.

"If I work hard enough, I think I can do it though, L."

"I'm sure you can, Mello." There was a brief pause, and then L added, "It's been a pleasure talking to you both, but I have business to attend to. Keep up your work." And without saying goodbye, the image on the screen disappeared.

I ignored it all. I'd worked out just why I wanted to stay M.

Mello was slowly working his way into my life. He and Linda were good friends now, and nearing a closeness that rivalled what _I _had with her. He was second in the rankings, and I could practically feel him breathing down my neck. Hell, he was even sharing the same room as me.

I knew it was stupid to think this way, but it felt like he was trying to take my place.

And once I realised that, I couldn't shake the feeling off.


	6. Chapter 6

L was right.

I was wrong.

Mello was first.

It was only a matter of time, really, but I'd been trying to ignore that for a while. I'd been doing so well, I'd started to think I'd get away with it.

Maybe that was where I went wrong. I thought it was a given. I didn't work hard enough.

I didn't _try_.

I'd been lulled into a false sense of security, and Mello had exploited it.

_Bastard._

'_1 – Mello_

_ 2 – Matt'_

* * *

_Thud._

_ Thud, thud, thud._

I was punching the wall by the corkboard. Over, and over, and over. Everyone else was gone by now. They had their numbers, they were happy, and they continued with their lives.

The skin on my knuckles had split, and I could feel the blood slowly trickling over my hand, but I didn't care. I just gritted my teeth, pulled back my hand and threw it forward again.

The pain helped, in a way. I was so _furious_ - with myself _and_ Mello - that I needed to hit something, _anything_. The pain was almost like a punishment for not doing well enough. Maybe I could force myself to do better if I did this. My anger was like a slow burning in my chest, instead of the raw energy Mello displayed.

_Thud._

_ Thud._

_ Thud._

A hand caught mine before it could hit the wood again. I flicked my eyes to the right.

Linda. Of course.

The look on her face could only be described as pity. I didn't want her pity. I didn't want _anyone's_ pity.

But she gently pulled me away from the corkboard, up the stairs and into one of the bathrooms. Without speaking, she turned on the tap in the sink and put my hand underneath it; I hissed in pain when the cold water hit the cuts.

"Matt," she said quietly.

I grunted in response to show I was listening, but otherwise didn't give her a reply.

She sighed. "It was bound to happen. Don't let it get to you." The tap squeaked as she cut off the flow of water to inspect my hand. "Why do you care all of a sudden? I know you've been getting competitive, but…"

I looked away. I couldn't tell her. It was childish, stupid, ridiculous.

Linda lightly ran her fingertips over the worst of the wounds; a few droplets of blood collected on her skin, so she wiped them on the towel hanging next to the sink. "I'm your best friend, Matt. You can trust me, you know that."

And just like that, I told her everything.

How I wanted to be M, how I didn't want to let Mello win, how I thought I could keep winning. What L had said. What Mello had said. What _I _had said. What I wanted to say, but hadn't. What I thought of Mello, and how much I wished to have my room to myself again. My grudging respect for him for beating me.

And even what I feared his presence would do to my place in Wammy's.

When I stopped speaking, Linda wasn't just holding my hand to inspect it anymore; she held it gently in both of hers, her thumb brushing over the back of my hand, comforting me. She was good for that sort of thing. I wondered why I hadn't spoken to her sooner. Maybe I could've saved myself all this anger, pain, and _confusion._

"You don't need to worry about anything," Linda murmured soothingly. "Honestly, Matt. You can't be replaced. You don't need to feel threatened by Mello." She paused, hesitating to say something, but then continued. "What happened to the old Matt? The one that just went with the flow, and didn't really care? I miss him."

I opened my mouth and then closed it. I repeated the action several times as I thought of something to say, but then realised it wasn't right. In the end, I settled on a helpless shrug.

Linda looked as if she was in pain for a brief moment, before she pulled a calm mask onto her face. "I'd rather have the old Matt back than the one that's here now. Really… I'll always be your friend. _Always._ Relax. Calm down. Become Matt again. I'm not the only one who misses you like that, you know."

And then she dropped my hand and left.

The cuts had stopped bleeding.

* * *

I returned to my room an hour or so later, with my hand bandaged by Wammy's nurse – _"What _have _you been doing, Matt? Honestly…"_ – and a considerably better mood than before.

Linda was right. I was being stupid. I'd just continue to be the way I was before; I hadn't liked the new version of myself anyway.

The other Matt wasn't as good at video games. Better Matt kicked ass at them. It was a simple choice, really, now that my mind wasn't filled with stupid, unnecessary emotions and thoughts.

Mello was sprawled on his bed, looking incredibly smug. He looked up with a raised eyebrow when I closed the door behind me; he saw my slightly dishevelled appearance and his smile widened. He reminded me of the Cheshire Cat. "So, Matt," he drawled, "how's it going? Good?" He put on a fake concerned look. "Sorry about the results."

I shrugged. "Whatever."

That threw him off. He sat upright, confusion leaking into his expression. "But I thought you'd be angry. Why aren't you?"

I held up my injured hand. "I was."

"Who'd you punch?"

"The wall."

"Shame. You could've at least hit someone who deserved it."

I sniggered, and he chuckled. I was surprised to feel the bitterness between us starting to melt away. It felt… weird. Really weird.

"But, seriously," Mello said, his laughter dying away. "What made you change your mind?"

I dropped onto my bed and leaned forward, my elbows resting on my knees. "I dunno. I just realised how much of an ass I was being, I guess. I'm actually not like the guy I've been since you arrived…"

"I figured."

"How?" I asked.

"Linda," he replied simply. "She kept telling me that you were different, but I couldn't see it, since you were always acting… well, like an ass."

I shifted uncomfortably. "It felt like you were taking my place, you know? Like I wasn't doing enough... I didn't like the idea, obviously…"

Something flashed in his eyes, but I couldn't catch what it was before it vanished again. "I get it. It's… fine."

Silence fell between the two of us and, for once, it wasn't because we'd had an argument. I picked at the bandage on my hand awkwardly. I didn't want to be the one to break it. It felt odd that we weren't at each other's throats, but it was also nice that we weren't.

Eventually, I extended my good hand; Mello stared at it warily. "How about we start over?" I explained when he didn't take it.

Mello hesitantly reached out and gripped my hand with his own. "Alright."

We grinned at each other.

The enmity between us crumbled. I accepted my place as second, and handed first over to Mello. He took it happily. There was an unspoken agreement that we'd simply do our best; if I beat him again, then fine, he wouldn't make a fuss, even if he was actually really pissed about it, and I would return the favour.

Oh, sure, we'd still be competitive - that was only natural - but it would be in good humour. There would be no more bitter feelings between us.

If I'd seen what M had been doing to me earlier, I could've gotten rid of that anger sooner. I regretted that I hadn't.

* * *

At dinner that night, we acted like we were old friends. Mello only ate his chocolate, of course, and a couple of roast potatoes when one of the Wammy's teachers complained about his diet. I hid my laughter in my sleeve with a cough, which actually turned into a real one, and then developed into uncontrollable hacking. Damn cigarettes.

Naturally, Mello laughed his ass off.

Bastard.

I shot him an annoyed look through the tears that were in my eyes, which I hastily wiped away. He didn't seem any less amused when I gulped down half a glass of water, so when I was done I flicked a carrot slice at him.

Linda took the seat next to me, sneaking a pleased look at me out of the corners of her eyes. "How's your hand?" she asked.

I showed her the bandage. "Fine. I can take this off tomorrow. It's just to protect the wounds from being opened again by accident."

She beamed. "Good. Hey, Mello!"

He nodded at her. "Hi."

"I see you two have made up," Linda commented, smiling innocently.

"Matt realised he was being an ass," Mello said simply, snapping off a large chunk of chocolate. The remains of the potatoes were squished on his plate, crushed by his fork.

"It's true," I admitted. _Because of Linda. Damn it, she always knows how to get through to people._

"So, no more arguing over the rankings?"

"No," Mello answered.

"No more fighting?"

"Nope," I told her.

"What does that make you, then? Friends?"

To my surprise, Mello shook his head. To be honest, I thought that we _were_ friends…

But, too late, I saw the mischievous grin on Mello's face.

"Matt," he said, smirking, "is now my bitch."

_Thud._

My forehead hit the table.

* * *

**Author's note: ^.^ And there you have it. All Matt's fault.**

**And I have some good ideas for the next few chapters... including something of Mello's past at some point. **

**I hope you enjoyed the chapter :) **


	7. Chapter 7

**Author's note: I'll admit, I really enjoyed writing this chapter. I was excited to write for a particular character, and I get the feeling that I'm going to continue feeling like that.  
-Looks at a certain friend who is reading this- Don't be smug.**

**-Bows to the reviewers- To all of you who said they enjoyed the last line, you're welcome ;) And thanks to everyone in general! For reviewing, favouriting, following, or even just silently reading. Thank you!**

* * *

I burst into our room, pushing back the door so hard it bounced off of the wall and would've hit me in the face if I hadn't caught it. Mello yelped at the sound and gave me a furious glare when the chocolate he'd been eating fell onto the floor.

I swallowed in fear.

_Oh crap._

I turned to run, but a hand closed around the back of my shirt.

Mello and I had become closer in the week that had passed, but we weren't exactly best mates. I didn't think there'd be much difference in our interactions if we were. Most of Wammy's had decided that we were inseparable after his little announcement at dinner and, well, I had to agree. It was almost like Mello was a planet, and I was caught in his gravitational pull. Once we became friends, there was no way I could get out of it again.

But that didn't stop him from _almost throttling me._

I gasped to try and get some air into my burning lungs, and threw back a hand to grab at his wrist. Mello used his free hand to seize mine and hold it out of the way. I continued to struggle, even though I knew it was pointless.

"What," he hissed in my ear, "was that about?"

"_Let… me… go!_" I rasped.

Where before he would have let me fall to the ground, much like his chocolate, he slowly released me. Mello left a hand on my shoulder to keep me upright, too. My lungs filled with beautiful, delicious air, and I took a moment to catch my breath. Mello, the annoying bastard, stood there looking impatient while I recovered.

Eventually, once I was no longer choking, I managed a couple of words: "New kid."

Several emotions passed over his face quickly: surprise, fear, and then an odd calmness. He snorted and tossed his hair, looking very feminine – I didn't make the mistake of telling him that, though.

"Now?" he asked.

"Yep. I saw Crystal on my way over; you know she can never keep a secret." Crystal was Linda's roommate. Everyone had learned not to trust her with anything they wanted to keep private the hard way. I was just glad I'd found out _before_ she learned about my smoking habit. If I hadn't...

... well, Roger would have found out quicker than you can say _Mello is a princess._

"What are we waiting for?" Mello grabbed my shoulder and shoved me out of our room; he proceeded to take a handful of my shirt and drag me down the corridor. This didn't surprise me; he always did this when he wanted to get somewhere fast, never mind who got hurt or annoyed in the process.

I yanked my shoulder out of his grip once we reached the staircase, and went past it to lean over the banister. Not many of the Wammy's kids had realised someone new had arrived yet, so Mello and I had a good view. Others soon began pressing in on us from all sides to try and see. One of the younger kids squirmed into the small gap between my legs and the wooden bars, so I shuffled back a little to let him through. It was that or probably get kicked in the balls, so...

Wammy kids weren't always the kindest people on the planet.

Anyway.

I'd become pretty good at working out which colours were which through the orange tint of my goggles, but the sight of the person below was so surprising I pushed them up onto my forehead to see better.

His hair was _white._

He was short and small, but there was a self-assured air to the way he held himself. His clothes were a little too big for him, and they were plain: white shirt and light blue trousers. A toy robot was clutched against his side with one hand, while the other reached up to twist a lock of his weird hair around his finger. Roger bent over to say something to him, and the boy nodded. It looked like he was already on the tour of Wammy's. I wondered who his roommate was.

Suddenly, the kid's gaze flicked upwards. His eyes were grey, and they almost looked… _bored._ They travelled along the row of children peering down at him – to this day, I still swear they rested on me and Mello a second longer than anyone else, but that could just be my memories failing me. After a moment he returned his attention to the floor, and shuffled after Roger.

"Freak," Mello hissed.

I shot him a kind of annoyed look. We were all freaks at Wammy's, really, in our own weird little ways. Besides, he hadn't even met the guy yet. I was about to scold Mello for calling the new kid that name, when I realised that I had almost been the same before I'd met Mello. I'd already decided I didn't like him before I'd said a word to him, and then a couple of months later we were friends.

As the other kids trickled away, Mello turned to lean his back against the banister and rested his elbows on it; he was the image of ease. He jerked his head backwards to gesture towards the place where the new kid had been and said, "What did you think?"

"Weird," I replied.

"Yeah." Mello sniffed and looked away. "Wonder who he's been put with?"

"Dunno. He'll be with someone. He can't be more than twelve." I put my hands in my pockets and started towards the stairs. "I'm going for a cigarette. I'll see if I can get another look at him."

Mello nodded. "You do that." As I made my way downstairs, he strolled back to our room.

When the warm air of almost-summer hit me out in the gardens, and I could taste smoke on my tongue, I realised that Mello and I had decided that we were a team without saying anything. Maybe it was because I'd been so hostile towards him in the beginning, but it felt like Mello thought this new guy was a threat. He didn't look it. Judging from the way his clothes had sagged on his body, he was probably a scrawny little thing.

His brains, on the other hand…

Well, we'd have to wait until the next test for that.

* * *

At dinner, it was just Mello and me. Usually, Linda sat with us; I'd become so used to her cheery voice and happy attitude that it felt odd when she wasn't there. Mello agreed with me when I voiced my thoughts, so we both looked around the hall for her.

I spotted her first. She was with the new kid.

"Mello," I whispered. His eyes fixed on mine to show he was listening. I tilted my head in Linda's direction, down the table where we were sat. Mello nodded and turned his body that way so he could see without craning his neck.

The boy wasn't eating anything. Linda chatted away to- no, _at_ him; he didn't offer anything to the conversation most of the time, from what I could see. He nodded a lot, twisted some of his shocking hair around his fingers, and drove a toy car across the table. Linda didn't mind, obviously.

I was surprised to see the only other M at Wammy's, Moss, go to join them, but then when he and the new kid exchanged what looked like fairly friendly greetings, I guessed that they were sharing a room. They probably wouldn't clash like Mello and I had, if their quiet natures were anything to go by.

Moss was almost the complete opposite to the new kid in looks. His hair was jet black instead of snow white, and his eyes were a mossy green, which was where his alias had come from. Like the new kid, he stayed quiet and let Linda do the talking.

Of course, it wasn't long until I had Linda's loud, excitable voice mention Mello and me.

And, naturally, she'd tell the new kid that we were first and second. I wouldn't have expected anything less from her. Anyone would tell their new roommate, friend, whatever all about us.

What chilled me was the way the new kid looked at where Linda was pointing and stared and us with his cool grey gaze. He didn't even blink as he watched us. First he gave Mello a long look, and then he turned it on me. I swallowed a little nervously, but rose to the challenge and stared back. He broke away first, but I knew it wasn't him submitting. I could see a tiny smile pulling at the corners of his lips.

It was bloody creepy.

I heard Mello mutter 'freak' again.

I privately agreed.

Moss and the new kid vanished after a while, and Linda skipped over to our part of the table. She dropped into the seat next to Mello and smiled at us. "Hi, guys! Have you met Near yet?"

"The new kid?" I raised an eyebrow.

She nodded eagerly. "Yeah, him. He's kinda quiet, but he's not too bad. Him and Moss will get on well. I don't think there'll be any chance of a repeat of what happened to you guys," she added teasingly.

"He's a bit… weird," I said hesitantly. I wanted to stay away from the subject of how Mello and me had originally gotten on; we'd decided to ignore it ever since we'd become friends.

"We all are," Linda replied. It was almost like she'd read my mind earlier and thrown my thoughts back at me. "He was really interested in you guys, since you're the top two here. He's got that sort of intelligence that hides, you know? I bet he could get into third place easily."

I looked at Mello at the same time he turned to me. We'd settled into our positions as One and Two. If I couldn't have the top place, I was happy with second. I wasn't particularly fussed anymore, but I knew Mello was. Behind the usual burning anger in his eyes, I could see a flicker of panic.

This Near was definitely a threat. Linda never lied.

Neither of us needed to say anything. Linda continued to twitter on about Near, but we weren't listening. We were silently making an agreement.

We'd team up against Near, our opposition.

We'd stick together.

We'd fight him for the top two places.

L would not notice him. He would carry on looking at us as his heirs. It would only be us that got to have those rare chances to talk with L, not Near.

I ignored the fact that I hadn't said one word to the guy, and that I was making an enemy of him.

Mello must have seen something in my eyes, because a smirk twisted his lips.


	8. Chapter 8

**Author's note: Quite a bit of Near in this one. I still don't understand why I enjoy playing him so much...**

**By the way, I'm now on tumblr under the name theheylinhawk.**

**Thank you again for all of your lovely reviews :)**

* * *

Maths was crap. I wasn't gonna lie then, and I won't now. Even though we were all genius kids, the majority of us still hated maths with a passion. I rested my chin on my hand and stared at the board, heaving a long-suffering sigh. It all made sense, but… it was so damn _boring._ Mello wasn't even in this class to liven things up.

"Here are your sheets; I'd like you to complete them for the end of the lesson," the teacher called to the class, handing them out as she went.

There was about fifteen minutes left of the hour of maths. I was finished with the equations in five. That left me with ten to kick my feet up and have a nap.

Or so I'd hoped.

I dropped my pencil back on my table with a satisfied smirk and leaned back in my chair, sighing. There was a soft _clink_ as someone copied the action, but they placed their pencil on their desk instead. I didn't look to see who it was; I was too busy planning out my free afternoon.

_Open the windows so it doesn't get too hot. Get a coke and some popcorn. Set up the PS2. Play-_

"Matt," a quiet voice said.

I glanced to my left, surprised. There was something about the voice that was a tiny bit feminine, but it also leaned towards a distinctly male tone.

I wasn't shocked when I saw who had spoken.

One knee was drawn up to his chest, an arm was wrapped around it, and his opposite hand twisted through his hair. Grey eyes stared at me unblinkingly. I raised an eyebrow at him behind my goggles.

"I don't believe we've met. I'm Near." He paused. "I've heard a bit about you."

"Really? Didn't know there was much to listen to."

"Apparently there is." Near's voice was as expressionless as his face; the pitch or tone never changed. It was unnerving. It was almost like he had no emotions. "I wanted to make your acquaintance. I feel that we might be seeing rather a lot of each other in the future, so starting early can't hurt."

I picked up my pencil again and began to doodle on the corner of my maths sheet, the image of ease, when really I was incredibly curious. "What d'you mean?"

"I think we are likely to become rivals. No, wait, let me rephrase that." He let his leg fall back to the floor, only to lift the other one. "I feel that Mello and I will be rivals. You and Mello will be the ones fighting for second place, while I will take first."

Cocky bastard.

"What makes you say that?" I asked.

He made a sound that was almost like a chuckle, except it was more of a _hm_. "I finished the work at the same time as you, Matt. Perhaps quicker. That must be a surprise to you...

"There's really no point in disguising my true intentions. It's what we're all here for, isn't it?" He gestured vaguely at the classroom with a small sweep of his hand. "To surpass L."

The weird thing was, Near reminded me of Mello. They both set their sights on something and went for it. Only, Near's way of challenging people was a bit more subtle; where Mello would shout his intentions to all who would listen, Near would quietly murmur them and then go about getting there. I could tell that without even waiting for him to do it.

And yet the contrast between the two of them – in behaviour _and_ looks – was so great that I felt like I was losing my balance.

I snorted to cover my brief moment of uncertainty. "You seem certain that you'll do it."

"I am. And I will. I want to be honest with you; you seem like a nice person."

Wasn't expecting _that._

Near turned his whole body to face me, letting his hand fall from his head onto his knee. "Would you care to spend some time with me, so we can get to know each other? I'd like know more about you. You don't seem like the competitive type, and yet… you do at the same time. It's an intriguing combination."

It was a shocker that this guy could _like_ anything.

I was on Mello's team. It wouldn't hurt to find out a little bit about Near. He'd probably be happy if I found out some stuff about the little frea-

Too far, Matt. Too Mello-like.

"Sure. Name the time and place," I replied.

* * *

Near had chosen one of the two living rooms. Most kids preferred to spend their free time in their room, but some liked to come to a more public area – personally, I didn't see the attraction, but whatever. Near was knelt on the floor with a robot, a plastic dinosaur and stuffed toy cat in front of him. He'd placed them in a triangle, facing inwards. There was a pile of other toys beside him.

When he heard my footsteps approaching him, Near looked up and nodded. "Matt. Hello."

"Hi." I spotted an armchair by his space on the floor and took it; I didn't particularly want to sit on the carpet like a child.

Speaking of…

Near had to be, what, twelve? Thirteen? And he was playing with _toys._

I'd heard of Wammy's kids having weird quirks, but I was having trouble believing _this._

I watched him for a moment. Near placed the dinosaur beside the cat so they were both facing the robot. He even made quiet beeping sounds when he moved the robot to the side a little. I didn't see why that was of significance, but apparently it had some meaning to him, because he gave a satisfied nod before looking up at me.

"Thank you for coming, Matt."

"No problem."

It felt like Near's gaze was an x-ray; I shifted uncomfortably in my seat. He didn't blink or say anything. It was worrying. Maybe it'd be better if I just left him to it…

"You and Mello are close, correct?"

That was random.

"Yeah. He's my friend." I realised that there was a somewhat defensive edge to my tone. Near raised an eyebrow and said nothing; I could practically hear the gears turning in his head in response.

"Linda told me that you two weren't very civil with each other to begin with."

"Linda doesn't lie."

Near plucked a stuffed wolf from the pile and placed it between the two sides of his toys. Its muzzle pointed directly down the line; he spent a moment making sure it wasn't angled towards either side. He nodded to himself. "I gathered as much. She seems quite fond of you and Mello."

I shrugged. It looked like I was gonna be there for a while, so I relaxed into the cushions of the chair. "She hangs around with Mello and me quite a bit. She's a good friend."

A pale hand reached out and turned the wolf slightly towards the cat and the dinosaur.

"I also hear you were first for quite a while."

"Is this an interrogation?" I asked, narrowing my eyes.

Near raised an eyebrow. "I'm studying my competition."

"Didn't think you were the type to do that."

"You're not very observant, then."

I stood up. I was shaken. He wasn't a weak opponent, that was clear now. I had to get out. Get away. Away from _him._ "We're done here. I'm going."

"Goodbye, Matt."

I left without answering.

* * *

It wasn't until I was waiting for the main menu of my video game to load later that evening that I realised what purpose Near's toys had served.

He was the robot; Mello was the dinosaur; I was the cat; Linda was the wolf. He hadn't just been caught up in a game while we were talking. No, he'd been doing exactly what he'd said: _studying the competition._ I could hear his quiet voice whispering the words in the back of my mind.

Damn, Near was smarter than I'd given him credit for.

The three of us at the top of the ranks had different ways of gaining the title of first place.

Mello was like fire. He would fight his way to the top and burn anyone that challenged him.

I was calmer about it all, but I still battled. Where Mello played dirty if he had to, I would only do that in the most desperate of circumstances. Well, ok, maybe a bit when it _wasn't_ needed, but that wasn't the point.

But Near… he acted like it was chess. He let us make our moves, and then he made his. _Click_ went the pieces on the board as he looked up at us, his opponents, and waited for us to retaliate.

A sick feeling in my stomach told me that sooner or later, he was going to checkmate Mello and me. I knew that when he did, Mello wasn't going to take to it too kindly. I didn't want to be in his way when it happened. Near was probably smart enough to realise that he should be somewhere that preferably had a locked door when he snapped, but part of me _wanted _him to see what he would do to my best mate. If Near was so desperate to make his way to the top, he would have to deal with the consequences.

It was only a matter of time. Near had been clever enough to trick me into giving him information – they were small pieces, sure, but damaging nonetheless. He could slot everything into place with the knowledge I'd given him on my friendships, like it was a puzzle. He knew he'd been taking a risk in asking me personally, but it had probably been a test for me at the same time.

I growled, tore of my goggles and ran a hand through my hair. I'd screwed up without even realising.

Damn Near. Damn him to hell.

There was a loud crack as I threw my controller at the wall. I didn't want to play anymore. I doubted I could even concentrate on pressing a single button at the right time. I was too pissed off. I glared at where the plastic landed on the floor, a few pieces of it broken around it, and only then did I notice that a pair of boots were stood by them.

Mello.

He raised an eyebrow, a cool expression on his face. Had he stolen my composure or something? "The hell?" he asked, stepping over the controller to reach his bed. He frowned when he took in my appearance. "You never throw your games… your goggles are off..." He paused. "And you look like you want to shoot someone. Something's wrong."

"Took you long enough to get there," I spat.

His eyes flashed with anger before he crushed it – I saw the _just this once_ in his look. "Something's really wrong. What is it?"

I stood up and strode over to Mello. I changed my mind halfway through and started to pace back and forth instead. "Near's a threat, Mells." It was the first time I'd used a nickname for him; it felt natural to say it instead of 'Mello'. He didn't seem to mind, thank God. "He's smarter than we think."

I was stopped by Mello's hands on my shoulders. His bright blue eyes were burning with a determination that was even stronger than when we'd been rivals. A smirk slowly curled his lips. "Evidently, _we're_ smarter than _he_ thinks. He underestimated us, Matt. We'll have to make sure he doesn't make the same mistake again."


	9. Chapter 9

**Author's note: Just a quick warning, there are mentions of child abuse in this chapter. And a little bit more serious swearing. You can probably see where this chapter's going now, can't you?**

**Sorry the gap between the last chapter and this one was so long, I was working out how I wanted this to end. The next chapter will be an epilogue, really. **

**Thank you again for the reviews, everyone :)**

* * *

I knew before I even saw the results that Mello and I were screwed.

The way Near had looked when we completed our tests was not encouraging. There had been a light in his grey eyes, one that sparkled with triumph, and when he'd rested his gaze on Mello and me, he'd given us that creepy smile of his that made little children cry.

Well, probably made them cry. He didn't smile often, and he was alone a lot, aside from Linda. I didn't know if he was ever actually in the same room as the younger kids, aside from dinner.

Anyway.

Mello waited at the back of the crowd at the board. I could see by the way his eyes darted over their heads that he was nervous. Hell, I was too. If Near was at the top, I'd be pushed down to third, and that meant I would no longer be considered one of L's successors. Even if he was second, I'd no longer be one of L's first choices. What would he think? would he be disappointed that I had been pushed aside?

The thought wasn't a pleasing one.

When the crowd had thinned a bit, Mello and I went forwards. I could almost _feel_ Mello's anger hum into life through the air when we saw the results.

_'1 – Mello_

_ 2 – Near_

_ 3 – Matt'_

"My apologies," a quiet voice said at my elbow: Near. I gave the smug little bastard an indifferent look. I would have loved to glare at him, but Mello was already doing the job well enough. Jesus, I was surprised he hadn't tackled him to the floor by now.

What was with Mello? Why did me being moved down to third make a difference to him? I ignored it. Oh well. Whatever. I was third. Big deal. I lost the ability to care much about rankings a while ago. If I was honest, I was happy with third. I could be worse off.

But before I could say or do anything, Mello swept past me and grabbed a handful of Near's shirt. "You little shit," he snarled. "How _dare_ you be second?"

"Mello," I warned him. When he didn't listen, I seized his shoulder and pulled him back. His response was shocking; he flinched and pulled himself out of me grip then dropped Near, who took a few cautious steps back. "Don't bother. I'm not," I told him. "Just let it go."

"You don't get it," he spat. Without saying anything else, Mello stalked up the stairs and away, towards our room.

There was silence between me and Near for a while, then he murmured, "It's the way things are, Matt. Rankings change, sometimes for the-"

"Just shut up," I said in a tired voice. "I really don't care about the numbers, Near. It's just… Mello."

"Do you know why he reacted like that?"

"No." But I had a pretty good idea why.

I had the feeling it was something to do with his past. There was no other reason for it. I knew he was sensitive about the rankings, but he'd never explained it, other than 'I want to be the best'.

"Perhaps you should find out," Near suggested.

"I plan to."

* * *

And that's exactly what I did.

I went back to our room. Even when I paused outside, I could hear Mello storming around inside. I just hoped he wasn't breaki-

_CRASH!_

… Never mind.

When I worked up the courage to go inside and interrupt his tantrum, I saw that he'd thrown one of his books at a bookshelf, and it had fallen to the floor, sending the books everywhere. A few had even lost a couple of pages. Thankfully, it was his bookshelf, not mine; my stuff was safe for now.

The boy himself was pacing back and forth through the wreckage, one hand twisted into his hair, making him look like a furious, much better version of Near. When he saw me, for some reason his anger only seemed to increase; there was a brief moment when our eyes were fixed on each other, and then he turned on his heel and continued pacing, snarling under his breath.

"Mells…" I said hesitantly. I was reluctant to move into the room any further, so I simply shut the door and stayed by it. "Mells, I don't get it…"

"_He took your place,_" Mello spat. "_You're_ meant to be second. _Not him_. He _took_ your place."

I didn't have the heart to tell him that he'd done the same; I knew it would only make him angrier. Maybe back in the beginning I would have, but now?

I wouldn't dream of it.

"So what?" I replied, leaning against the door and crossing my arms.

"You don't understand," Mello hissed. I winced when a book hit the wall to the left of my head, leaving a dent in it. That was gonna leave a mark. "You just don't get it! And why should you? You don't know!"

"Don't know _what_, Mells? I'd know if you told me."

Mello whirled around to face me so quickly I was surprised he didn't fall over. There was a glint of madness in his bright blue eyes, one that I didn't care for.

I was worried. Really worried. Mello never got this angry – _ever._

"I _have_ to be first," he muttered, running his hand through his hair repeatedly. I wondered if the motion was meant to try and soothe himself, or if it was just because he was so angry he couldn't keep still. "I can't… I can't be less than the best… I can't, Matt, I can't…"

Was that a note of fear in his voice?

"Why not?"

"I- you won't get it. You don't want to know. I can't, I can't, I can't…"

Now I was seriously freaked out. What happened to the guy who was my friend, the one who was always a sneering, sarcastic ass of a person? The one that, despite my original thoughts, had become a closer friend than Linda? I didn't like this angry, panicky Mello, but I supposed I should have seen him lurking under the surface, waiting for the slightly calmer Mello to snap so he could burst forth.

In a nutshell, I was scared. Very scared. Not for me; I could deal with whatever Mello had to throw at me - metaphorically and literally. I'd fought him off a few times before, and I could do it again, even if it was just long enough to get my ass out of the room until he calmed down.

No, I was scared for his sanity.

Did Near even know what he'd done to Mello? Did he realise how upset it had made the poor guy? Was it all just a part of his plan, or was it just an accident?

I'd find out later. What mattered was Mello.

I took a step forward and put my hands on Mello's shoulders, holding them tightly so he couldn't twist away. Well, that was a lie. He probably could if he really wanted to, but he stayed still. "Try me," I said quietly. "Try to explain. You might be surprised."

Silence.

"Fine. But don't be shocked. You won't like it."

He stepped back, and I let my hands drop to my sides. I saw the anger rekindling in Mello's eyes, so I took a face paces back towards the door as well.

"My father… he never thought I was good enough," Mello murmured. The hate was clear in the way his voice sounded, in his eyes, and the way his hand were curled into fists. "Nothing I ever did could make him proud, or pleased with me.

"But that wasn't it." He laughed harshly, bitterly. "I wish. I fucking _wish_ it was."

Angrily, Mello seized his left sleeve in his hand and pulled. The fabric tore in a line from his wrist up to his elbow, where he let it hang. Mello turned his arm over so I could see the back, and then shoved his arm under my nose.

I cringed.

There were marks all over his arm. Old burn scars of varying seriousness. Some were little more than faint white patches, while other parts were still an angry pink. It could have been my imagination reeling in shock, but I was pretty sure I could see long, thin white scars too, probably caused by a knife or something else that was sharp.

The most recent of them was definitely a scratch, not a burn. It went through the pattern that the burns created, in what must have been a quick swipe of the blade, but a painful one nonetheless.

I felt sick.

Mello pulled back his arm and ripped his other sleeve; this one actually came off at the shoulder and fell to the floor in a messy heap of black fabric. There were more of the marks, all the way up his arm. They stopped just before they reached his shoulder. There were criss-crossing scars on the softer skin near the top of his arm.

He lightly touched one of the burn scars, an odd expression on his face. "Any time I made a mistake… any time I did anything less than perfectly… he added to these."

I didn't want to know any more, but Mello wouldn't stop talking. He didn't have to tell me this, but he wouldn't stop.

His lower lip trembled when he said in a hushed voice, "My mother… she didn't stop him." He laughed again, shakily. "She cared for me, but she knew this was happening and she didn't stop it. She probably agreed with Father secretly."

Mello lowered his arms to his sides and held his chin up. He was trying to look brave, trying to look strong.

I could see through it, and it hurt.

It hurt to know that his parents had done this to him.

It hurt to know that he'd been hiding it all this time.

It just hurt to know.

How could anyone do this to their child? Then again, that was how the majority of us ended up at Wammy's; because our parents couldn't care for us. The others were orphans.

I was an orphan. I was lucky, I suppose, looking back on it. Lucky that I never had to go through the sting of betrayal from the ones I loved. All I had to deal with was the pain of loss.

Those kids had to go through both. Betrayal and loss. Hurt and loneliness. Fear and anger. All of the heightened emotions that came with losing a family member… except they lost them in two ways.

Why had Mello had to suffer that? That must have been what made him the way he was: bitter, angry, and reluctant to trust anyone. Was I the first person he'd found himself relaxing with in a long time? How long?

Mello was crying. While he still held himself in that over-confident position, he was crying. He was hurting.

He needed comfort.

I strode forwards and wrapped my arms around him.

* * *

Another fortnight passed, and Near became first. Mello didn't have a repeat of what I called his 'episode', but I could see the horror in his eyes when we checked the rankings. But I nudged his shoulder with my own, to let him know I was there for him, and when he looked over at me, he smiled a little. I could read his thoughts and feelings from his eyes now. I was probably the only one who could.

_I'll get first back._

_ I trust you._

And there was just a hint of,_ I need you._


	10. Chapter 10

**Author's note: Here we are. Wow. Ok. Several things.**

**1. Happy birthday, Mello! I managed to get the chapter out on your birthday, buddy!**

**2. Thank you all so much for your support through this! You're all amazing. I appreciate each and every one of the favourites, follows, reviews and silent readers. You're all absolutely wonderful. All of you have a hug from Matt :)**

**3. If you would like to listen to a song with this chapter, listen to _Ready To Go_ by Panic! at the Disco.**

**4. I managed to get the chapter out before my birthday! Woohoo!**

**Lots of love,  
Adurna**

* * *

**Present Day…**

I look around my room one last time, checking to see if I missed anything. I don't think I have. My DS is in my suitcase, along with the games; the few clothes I plan to bring are packed; some books that could be helpful fill up the rest of the space in the small bag. My room looks depressingly bare without the signs of life it's had up until now.

But, then again, one side of the room has been like that for nearly five years.

There's a light knock at the door. I turn to see Linda peering in, a sad but friendly smile in place. Without a word she steps forward and envelopes me in a tight, comforting hug. I wrap my arms around her in return.

It's unlikely I'll ever see her again. She's been my friend throughout my time at Wammy's, as well as Mello's. We became an inseparable trio, despite the times when Linda disappeared to spend a few hours with Near. Mello never did get over his bitterness when it came to Near, and I have the feeling that it will continue long into the future, if we ever meet him again.

Linda draws back. Tears quiver on her eyelashes. "I'll miss you, Matty," she whispers. "Say hi to Mells for me, will you?"

"Sure," I reply just as quietly. I feel a little choked up, too. There's around ten years of friendship between us… it's difficult to let it go.

Linda kisses my cheek, then releases me and hurriedly turns away. "Good luck. Don't get into any trouble."

I laugh without humour. "You know what Mello's like, Linda. I'm bound to get dragged into something. I'd be dead bored if I wasn't."

She chuckles softly. "Yeah, I know. Stay safe, alright?"

"You got it. See you, Linda. Love you."

"Love you, too, Matty."

We don't mean it in a romantic way. We never have. It's more of a sibling love between us. I don't know about Linda, but I've never seen her in a romantic light, and I wouldn't change it now. She's like an awesome sister, the one that I wish I could've had if my parents hadn't died.

When she's gone, I pull my suitcase down onto the floor; the wheels hit it with a quiet thump. It's light, but still heavy enough to land with a thud. I roll it to the door, then pause. I glance over the room once more.

I hadn't known that Mello would be the best thing to ever happen to me. No, when he'd arrived, I'd hated him. But then, over time, we'd become closer than friends. I wasn't sure what would have happened if he'd stayed.

If he'd stayed…

It was Near's fault. No, Kira's fault. In the end, Near just did what was natural for him to do. It was all because of that murderer that called himself God. My best friend left because of him.

* * *

**Five Years Earlier…**

_Slam!_

I almost fell off of my bed as the door hit the wall with a bang, probably denting it in the process. It was a couple of months after Near took his place as first on the rankings. I didn't see why Mello was so angry; what was there left to infuriate him?

But then I looked up, and my heart shattered.

Mello's cheeks were coated in tears, and there were more still rolling down them. His hair looked like he'd pulled at it several times, it was so messy and tangled; how long had he been upset? He was trembling, but whether it was with sadness or anger I couldn't tell.

"Matt," he rasped, stumbling forwards.

I leaped off of my bed and caught him, placing supportive arms around him. "Mells, what's wrong?" I asked. I'd only ever seen Mello cry once before, but even then it hadn't been as bad as this. He was _sobbing_, for God's sake.

"It's… it's L…" he gasped. His hands had curled into my shirt, and they refused to let go.

I felt my stomach drop. "What? Talk to me, Mells, please."

"He's… he's dead…"

My blood turned to ice in my veins.

"A-and Near, he's the new L. At least, he will be… when he gets the fake out of the way…"

_Fake?_

"He offered to work with me, but I can't, Matt, I can't… I just can't…"

_I know you can't, Mells. It's not your fault._

"And there's another thing…" Suddenly seeming to find some reserve of strength, he pushed me away, keeping his hands fixed on my shoulders. "I'm leaving."

"You're kidding." My voice was flat, emotionless.

"I'm leaving, Matty. I have to. I can't take it here anymore. There's something I need you to do, though…"

I nodded. In that moment, I realised I would do anything for him. I had to. Mello and I were like two halves of one creature now; we did things together, we worked together. We were a team. Inseparable.

"I need you to stay at Wammy's."

… Ok, that was unexpected.

He rolled his eyes at my dumbfounded expression, despite the fact that his eyes were still red and puffy, and added, "I need you to keep tabs on Near. I dunno when he's gonna leave, but someone needs to keep an eye on him until then. I have a plan, Matt."

"I trust you," I said quietly.

"I know you do." His hands dropped back to his sides, apart from the right one, which rubbed furiously at his eyes. "I'm leaving immediately. I don't have time to waste. I'll need you again at some point, and you'll have to come and find me; I'll let you know when that time is, ok?"

I felt… numb. But I wasn't at the same time. I had a purpose, one that began a sort of fire in my chest. I would make him proud. I'd be the best damn spy, hacker, whatever-he-needed-me-to-be in the world. I'd learn what I needed to in order to be of use to Mello when we met again. I wouldn't laze about in his absence.

"Got it, Mells."

"Good." He suddenly pulled me into a tight hug, one that almost squeezed the breath out of my lungs. "I'll see you in a few years, Matty." Hesitantly, he said something so quietly I almost missed it. "Don't change. Please."

I didn't know if I was supposed to hear it or not, but I answered anyway.

"I won't."

* * *

**Present Day…**

I'm in the doorway of Wammy's, on the brink of freedom. I take in the main room. There are so many memories here. Of being first, second and third; of hurting my hand on the wall where I punched it; and of when I accepted my place as third, but also when Mello stayed determined to be first.

At the thought of Mello, I curl my hand tighter around his letter.

_Matt,  
__I need you. Meet me at the address at the bottom of this letter. Destroy it when you get the chance. We can't have any unwanted visitors. Don't take too long, and bring a First Aid kit.  
__Mello_

It's short and snappy, but that's how Mello is.

_Goodbye, Wammy's, _I think.

Despite Mello's dislike of Near, I ended up not minding him, really. He wasn't too bad. I haven't seen him in a long time though. I wonder if I'll see him when I'm with Mello again. It's likely. Mello would never admit it, but they're drawn to each other; where one goes, the other is sure to follow, a challenge ready for them both at their destination.

In this case, it's Kira.

* * *

**Five Years Earlier…**

"Matt."

I froze at the sound of the emotionless voice. Weeks had gone by since Mello had left. It was almost a month ago, now. I'd slowly gone back to the version of myself before I met him; distant, quiet, gamer Matt.

I looked over my shoulder. "Near," I said in way of a greeting.

The boy stood beside me, one hand firmly twisted into his shocking white hair. I'd never get over just how odd that colour was…

"How are you?" he asked. It didn't sound like he really cared.

"Fine," I replied shortly.

"You don't seem like it."

"I am, really."

He made that annoying 'hm' sound. I had no doubt that he knew the depth of my hurt at losing Mello, even though I was sure I was coping pretty damn well, given the circumstances. There was an awkward silence for a moment. I wondered if he wanted to ask me about something. Me keeping tabs on him, maybe? Something about Mello, perhaps?

Nope. None of the above.

"I wanted to say goodbye, Matt. And I wanted to apologise for intruding on your life."

… What.

"Uh… ok?" I replied. It sounded like a question.

There was a very slight hint of amusement in Near's dull grey eyes. "I'm going to tackle the fake L," he explained. "I can't do that from Wammy's House. Now you'll be able to be first again. I'm sorry I kept you from your place for so long."

"You deserved it," I said honestly. As much as I'd have preferred Mello to be first, Near had always been the one that was smarter, and therefore _had_ to be first. It was only natural, as much as Mello and I had disliked it.

There was actual emotion in Near's steady gaze. "Thank you. I wish I could stay longer, but Kira won't catch himself… Good luck, Matt. You'll be a better role model for the Wammy's children than I ever could be. You're very normal compared to everyone else here, including me. Until we meet again..."

And with that, the strange, white-haired kid was gone. He vanished with the same sort of silence that he entered my life with.

* * *

**Present Day…**

This has to be it. The place practically screams 'Mello'.

I'm not kidding. There's definitely a gunshot in the wall by the front door of the flat.

Hesitantly, I knock on said door. "Mello?" I call.

The door opens in a similar manner as it did on the day he left Wammy's - with a bang. It's clear he's been anxiously awaiting my arrival; how else would he have gotten to the door so fast?

The first thing I notice is that his clothes are different. They're not baggy. They're _leather._ _Tight_ leather. And is that a feather boa around his neck?

… Nice.

Then it's the happy sparkle in his usually icy blue eyes, and the shagginess of his blonde hair. Has he grown it out? Is that due to laziness, or just because he wanted to?

And, finally, my gaze strays to the huge burn scar stretching across one side of his face, down his neck and below the edge of his leather vest.

"Mello…" I murmur, too shocked to say anything but his name. The mark is raw and pink; it can only be a few weeks old, at most. It looks painful and shiny in the dim lighting. The burn scars I first saw on his arms are nothing compared to this bad boy of a mark.

If those small ones affected him… then this new mark…

But, somehow, he doesn't seem to have let it change him. He's oddly cheerful; does my presence make that much of a difference for him? We must've been closer than I remember.

Mello seizes my sleeve and drags me forward into his arms. I drop my suitcase and throw my own around him tightly.

We laugh. We cry. We sob into each other's shoulders. The reunion is sweeter than I imagined it would be. It isn't just the joy of finding an old friend again. No, it's become more than that, something deeper.

Maybe love.

Not the love I feel for Linda. Not the love I still feel for my parents that died when I was just a kid.

Romantic love.

Maybe it's there, maybe it's not. I won't mention it if Mello doesn't; I don't want to ruin what we have. I'd do anything for him anyway, no matter our relationship. Anything he asked of me, I'd do it without _much _of a fuss.

I have my best friend back. Maybe it can become something more in time, if things go well. He's hurt physically, but he seems to be emotionally stable for now. I don't know what will happen if Near comes back into the picture, but we'll face it when we're ready.

Funny. I used to hate him with every bit of my being. Now I couldn't imagine my life without him, especially with this hug to consolidate that.

He's my roommate, my best friend, and maybe something more. Who knows what the future will bring?

"Love you, Matty."

"Love you, too, Mells."


End file.
